Content Communication, Relational Communication (1 of 2)

Management Associates Below the Line, communication, Human Side of Leadership

Communication can be divided into two broad categories: content and relational.

Content is the what of any message. It is the facts and figures, the ideas and opinions that we transmit through e-mails, conversations, memos, or notes on the bulletin board. It is anything that can be expressed in words.

Relational communication pertains to the who of any interaction. Though we may be unaware of it, every instance of content communication is surrounded by a field of relational communication that reveals the way parties view and are viewed by each other. It defines, in large part, the nature of the relationship between the two of them.

Three points about relational communication bear particular emphasis:

  • Relational communication is a direct reflection of our below-the-line attitudes. Because we do not consciously shape relational communication, its messages spring unfiltered from our deepest personal thinking. Relational communication, then, provides a direct window into the below-the-line attitudes, values and beliefs we hold.
  • We are communicating relationally 100 percent of the time. Content communication is largely a matter of conscious choice: we make a phone call or we don’t, we send an email or we don’t. Relational communication, however, is not a matter of choice. We are constantly broadcasting relational messages, whether we realize it or not. This means that our beliefs and values (as well as our biases and prejudices) are always leaking out to one degree or another.
  • Relational messages are more important to us. Because relational messages are linked to how we are perceived and valued, our perception of what is being communicated relationally is always more important to us than content communication. And when the two conflict, we will always give more weight to the relational message (the brusque tone, the clenched jaw) than the content message (“no, I’m not upset”).

For leaders seeking to build outstanding human systems, it is imperative to remember that every interaction transmits not only surface-level information, but also deeper messages about the degree to which we respect, value, and appreciate others.

Every quick phone call, every offhand comment and conversation in the hallway, answers, for others, the question “how do you see and value me?” Over time these relational messages become as clear as any email or memo – and they exert enormous impact on interpersonal dynamics and, in turn, organizational performance.